An Ode to Belle! April 17, 2003 – June 8, 2020

On By micmashIn Uncategorized

This was a hard post for me to write. It took me a while and will likely be long so please bear with me.

July 7th, 2002. Chris and I had been dating for 6 months. We decided to head in to Seattle to celebrate. Chris was 24 years old, spent his whole life in the Seattle area and had somehow never been up to the top of the Space Needle. He seemed to think that I was going to be the one to share this experience with him for the first time. I basically laughed in his face and said “yeah right” at the mere suggestion. I am afraid of heights. Like, legit terrified. So we proceeded to spend what felt like hours sitting at the base of the Space Needle discussing this. He begged and pleaded and I wouldn’t budge. Finally he asked what he could do to convince me. After some thought it came to me. Chris was allergic to dogs. Allergic to the point where he told me he would likely never have one. I am a major dog lover and the thought of never having one was just not an option for me. So I told him that if he promised me that one day we could get a dog I would go up with him. I don’t know if he just thought I wouldn’t hold him to his promise, but he agreed. And so that day I got in that awful elevator on the outside of a freaking building and allowed it to take me to over 500 feet above ground to a place with a revolving glass floor. It was awful and terrifying but I REALLY love dogs. Chris got what he wanted—and whether he realized it or not—I was going to get that dog someday.

Fast forward to February 14th, 2004. I was woken up that day by Chris telling me we should start looking for a dog. Happy Valentines Day to me! I immediately jumped on Pet Finder and started my search. It didn’t take long before I saw her.

She was a small Black Lab mix, approx 10 months old. She had been found wandering the mean streets of Wenatchee, Washington. She had been there about 5 days at that point, and nobody had come looking for her. We immediately called the shelter to ask if she was still available and if we could come meet her. We made an appointment for the next day. We got up early the next morning for the 2.5 hour drive. Chris asked me if I was sure this was the dog, and I told him I knew without a doubt this was MY dog! When we arrived and I saw her in person it was confirmed that this was the dog for us. We had to wait a few more days to bring her home as she needed to be spayed as part of the adoption requirements. Turns out though she had already been spayed. Ha! On February 17th we made the trip back to Wenatchee to pick her up and the rest as they say is history.

We quickly learned that Belle did NOT like other dogs, or anything with four legs really. It’s hard to say why, given we don’t know what the first 10 months of her life were like. When we lived in Boston and I started dog walking and then dog sitting, we were able to properly introduce her to several dogs who became her doggie friends. But any other dog she didn’t know she was ready and willing to throw down with. Fortunately we knew situations to avoid with her and we made do.

Belle was a happy and energetic dog basically her entire life. Her excitement was never ending. She slept in bed with us, under the blankets and usually spooning one of us. For non-dog people she was probably a little overbearing but for us we loved her and her energy. She was a snuggler and a licker. She would give you kisses all day long if you let her. She lived on both coasts, swam in both oceans and travelled everywhere in between. She was a lucky girl, we took her everywhere. Even when the girls were born her place in our family never went away.

Losing her has probably been the hardest on me, although, I know Chris misses her and thinks of her everyday when he goes in the closet and sees her empty bed. She was by my side since day one. When we first moved to Boston and I wasn’t working yet it was just me and her. We spent our days together while Chris was at work. She was my shadow, we did everything together. People who have never had a dog truly don’t understand that connection. The loyalty. The unconditional love. When I was pregnant with the girls it was her laying with me. When the girls were babies and I was up for night feedings it was her sitting up with me. When I went through some really hard times the last few years she was the one next to me every day. Her loyalty never wavered.

Audrey definitely had a harder time than Lauren did. Some of that is likely due to age, and some of it is likely due to the fact Audrey just had a different relationship with Belle. The last few months of Belle’s life Audrey was very attatched to her. Taking every opportunity she could to follow her around and hug her and try to get Belle to play with her. It was really sweet, she really loved her.

I will never understand those who give their pets away when they are no longer that fun energetic cute puppy anymore. They give us literally all they have, the least we can do is care for them as they age. The last year was hard to watch her really slow down. She no longer ran her wind sprints at night. She slept—A LOT—and she lost a lot of weight. Her eyes became cloudy and her hearing was going. But everyday she got up and she ate and she went to the bathroom and she stole food from the girls. Nighttime after the girls went to bed was her time with us. She would wait eagerly for her can of wet food, beg for whatever we were snacking on and then lay on “her” chair while we watched TV. I miss those times. I miss everything about her.

Being that she was 17 years old and likely had cancer, we KNEW her time was coming. In fact the very day she died we had been discussing that maybe it was time to make a decision as to when we would put her down. I thought I was prepared but when I saw her laying on her chair and realized she wasn’t okay it hit me like 50 mack trucks. When I grabbed her and held her in my arms as she was taking her last breaths I was devastated. I knew it was coming but I was not prepared for the immense grief. She gave me so much in the 16 plus years we had her and I am incredibly thankful that I was able to hold her in her final moments in her home surrounded by her family. I am thankful we were able to give her that. There are days I am sad we didn’t get to give her one epic last day full of cheeseburgers and steak and all her favorite things. But I know that alternative would not have allowed her to go on her own terms at home with her family.

We will get another dog someday soon. But she will always have that special place for me. She was my first dog, my best friend, my protector and my first baby. I will love and miss her forever. She stole my heart and a little piece of it will always be broken without her. Dogs don’t get long enough on this earth but they sure make every moment count.

She is free of pain and probably loving the endless treats and toys in Heaven with all her doggie friends that went before her. And I am betting my mum is out walking with her every single day.

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